Just a couple days ago I found out that my contract will not be renewed for the new year. The blow was hard, I was completely sure the job is secure. I am learning to deal with my severe anxiety every day and have done amazing progress over the past two years. But when something so hard hits, it's very difficult to stay calm. I was "grieving" the first day, crying and being very depressed. I was exhausted and went to sleep pretty early. The next day I was much better, looking forward to the new challenges and researching new job opportunities. But the heavy headache, squeezing my temples and punching my forehead inside, didn't let me forget how anxious and terrified I am. I am not doing well with the process of changes. The decisions, planning, details, "what ifs", calling, job interviews... organizing moving (why have I accumulated so much stuff???), paying for all of it... all of that is really scary. I know I will do fine once I move - I won't be missing my old place, I will be all directed forward, no part of me left behind. That's who I am. But the upcoming months will be very stressful.
I hope that after couple weeks I get better, calmer, as I dont' even want to think about living for months with that heaviness, dizziness and migraine-like headaches. I am planning on taking proper care of myself, eat well and sleep more than usual.
I reintroduced cream today to see how I react to dairy after about three weeks of none. I hope ok, as I really want cream in my coffee, it's an easy way to add good fat.
In other interesting stuff, I had a great conversation about evolutionary eating with my senior class. It made a lot of sense to them, and because they were boys (mostly) they were very interested in the idea of a woman eating so much meat and not being afraid of fat. I wonder where it takes them :) I also found out today that one of my colleagues is taking statins... so said, he's younger than me. I know that he is trying to eat well, but of course it means CW "well". I know also that I won't help him - he is a science teacher so he thinks he knows it all in terms of human body, he was patronizing smirking at me when I tried to explain why "calories in calories out" theory doesn't make sense. Lost case, I am afraid... :(
I'll keep my fingers crossed that you will soon find a new job. I know how depressing such a job loss is.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever tried egg milk for your coffee? I like it very much...
http://kikilula.blogspot.com/2010/09/eiermilch-und-zauberstab.html just select english for translation.
thank you.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds very interesting, I've never seen such a thing as egg milk! Is that a bit like liquid mayonnaise?
Yes, exactly - a watery mayonnaise, but smells like hot milk and tastes yummie without the sweetness of milk. You can refrigerate it for several days...
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