dealing with stress

Just a couple days ago I found out that my contract will not be renewed for the new year. The blow was hard, I was completely sure the job is secure. I am learning to deal with my severe anxiety every day and have done amazing progress over the past two years. But when something so hard hits, it's very difficult to stay calm. I was "grieving" the first day, crying and being very depressed. I was exhausted and went to sleep pretty early. The next day I was much better, looking forward to the new challenges and researching new job opportunities. But the heavy headache, squeezing my temples and punching my forehead inside, didn't let me forget how anxious and terrified I am. I am not doing well with the process of changes. The decisions, planning, details, "what ifs", calling, job interviews... organizing moving (why have I accumulated so much stuff???), paying for all of it... all of that is really scary. I know I will do fine once I move - I won't be missing my old place, I will be all directed forward, no part of me left behind. That's who I am. But the upcoming months will be very stressful.
I hope that after couple weeks I get better, calmer, as I dont' even want to think about living for months with that heaviness, dizziness and migraine-like headaches. I am planning on taking proper care of myself, eat well and sleep more than usual.

I reintroduced cream today to see how I react to dairy after about three weeks of none. I hope ok, as I really want cream in my coffee, it's an easy way to add good fat.
In other interesting stuff, I had a great conversation about evolutionary eating with my senior class. It made a lot of sense to them, and because they were boys (mostly) they were very interested in the idea of a woman eating so much meat and not being afraid of fat. I wonder where it takes them :) I also found out today that one of my colleagues is taking statins... so said, he's younger than me. I know that he is trying to eat well, but of course it means CW "well". I know also that I won't help him - he is a science teacher so he thinks he knows it all in terms of human body, he was patronizing smirking at me when I tried to explain why "calories in calories out" theory doesn't make sense. Lost case, I am afraid... :(

food, budgeting and benefits of paleo eating

Posted in Fight Back Friday:

Just finished eating late lunch (I love the Mexican frying cheese! I added fried eggs to it). I cooked ground beef with a lot of garlic, onion, allspice, bay leaf and some ketchup. I added a small can of diced tomatoes. I added also extra fat from cooking beef stew pieces and spare ribs (slow cooker is my friend), so it's extra "creamy". All of that should give me base for quite a number of meals. I will try and not do any grocery shopping for a while, I need to save up a bit. It's hard to keep a balance between buying food that I know is good for my health and knowing the limitations of my budget. As for now I am doing pretty ok, I think. I try to buy the cheap cuts of meat and chicken. I got grass-fed offal and beef sausages online, which I am using almost like a spice, a touch of luxury. Even when I am talking about liverwurst or bologna! ;-) I don't eat much vegetables, so I try to rely on frozen only as they don't go bad the way raw do. Too often I had to throw away things I just didn't have time or wish for using. But I do buy real cream, organic grass-fed butter, organic coconut oil... I haven't checked, but I think when I would count all the crap and non-paleo I used to buy that I don't eat now, in the end I might actually come on "plus" with paleo diet.

I do spend more time cooking, that's for sure. A year, two years ago, I used to come back from work and veg in front of my laptop till it was time to go to bed. I hardly had energy to do anything. Very often my body was aching and my head felt as if it were made of lead. I didn't feel like cooking and when I finally was so hungry I couldn't wait any longer, I had to eat something at that moment, fast. And it never was a healthy choice. I was hungry often, was craving carbs like crazy. And I was hungry it was very nauseating, horrible hunger.

Now? I come back home and I have energy to do things. I might begin to cook something, clean kitchen, do workout, read, check internet for couple hours and then move to do something else... Sometimes I still have worse days when I am more tired. But it's unbelievable how my flu-like daily pains and tiredness simply disappeared. I have fibromyalgia, which supposedly has no cure. I tried CoQ10, a few different meds, stretching and nothing helped. When I tried exercising and my joints (esp. knees) cried out in pain the doctor basically told me to suck it up, b/c that's what fibro is.

Now? I have my life back. It's still not perfect, but it's so much better. So yeah, I do spend more time on cooking... but all of it is during the block of time that normally was stolen from me by fibro and chronic fatigue. Now I cook and I still have extra time left to do other things.

I eat almost 100% processed-free food. The only processed foods I use is protein powder (only once in a while), supplements, no-chemicals no-sugar or preservatives ketchup. Can't think of anything else... All other food is natural, in raw, frozen or canned form, or slightly processed by reliable meat plant (but with no hormones, chemicals, nitrites or preservatives).

A few years ago I would never believe myself being so food-conscious, reading tons on nutrition, evolution, genetics... I was the kind of person who would openly and with pride say that I didn't care about food, nutrients, health... I thought nutrition and carbs or protein talk was for some crazy organic-obsessed hippies. now I am one of them ;-)

oh, and shortly will add other benefits I've notices since going low-carb, and then completely paleo (no grains, no sugar, no beans, no processed foods. only meat, fish, animal products, vegetables, some fruits and nuts): my skin cleared, I haven't had cold in a long time, my nails are stronger, I have better stamina in general, I have bigger and stronger muscles, I can fast without nausea and can even workout hard while fasted feeling great and energetic, chronic muscle and joint pain almost completely disappeared (I still have heightened sensitivity to touch, trigger points and occasional stiffness in joints and muscle pains, esp. after longer activity), no bowel pains or painful bloating, less headaches, lighter periods.

Might be more, but that's what I can think of now.