The Return of the Black Coffee

I was really happy after reintroducing dairy, as it seemed my body was quite happy with it. I had no stomachache, no gut issues... But after a while my lower face exploded with zits. Painful ones. :( It could still be it was the chocolate which I also have been eating now after a month of none... but I am afraid it's the dairy. And I like my coffee with cream so much! I haven't even eaten that much dairy - only heavy cream and butter, no cheese whatsoever.

I think I will completely cut on chocolate first (especially that I can't help myself and eat the whole bar at once), and see if anything clears. I really hope I can have dairy, cheese is such an easy snack for work (I can't bring meat to work), and yummy addition to eggs.

dealing with stress

Just a couple days ago I found out that my contract will not be renewed for the new year. The blow was hard, I was completely sure the job is secure. I am learning to deal with my severe anxiety every day and have done amazing progress over the past two years. But when something so hard hits, it's very difficult to stay calm. I was "grieving" the first day, crying and being very depressed. I was exhausted and went to sleep pretty early. The next day I was much better, looking forward to the new challenges and researching new job opportunities. But the heavy headache, squeezing my temples and punching my forehead inside, didn't let me forget how anxious and terrified I am. I am not doing well with the process of changes. The decisions, planning, details, "what ifs", calling, job interviews... organizing moving (why have I accumulated so much stuff???), paying for all of it... all of that is really scary. I know I will do fine once I move - I won't be missing my old place, I will be all directed forward, no part of me left behind. That's who I am. But the upcoming months will be very stressful.
I hope that after couple weeks I get better, calmer, as I dont' even want to think about living for months with that heaviness, dizziness and migraine-like headaches. I am planning on taking proper care of myself, eat well and sleep more than usual.

I reintroduced cream today to see how I react to dairy after about three weeks of none. I hope ok, as I really want cream in my coffee, it's an easy way to add good fat.
In other interesting stuff, I had a great conversation about evolutionary eating with my senior class. It made a lot of sense to them, and because they were boys (mostly) they were very interested in the idea of a woman eating so much meat and not being afraid of fat. I wonder where it takes them :) I also found out today that one of my colleagues is taking statins... so said, he's younger than me. I know that he is trying to eat well, but of course it means CW "well". I know also that I won't help him - he is a science teacher so he thinks he knows it all in terms of human body, he was patronizing smirking at me when I tried to explain why "calories in calories out" theory doesn't make sense. Lost case, I am afraid... :(

restarting the machine in 3... 2...1...

I failed. And I got up :)
I had a girls night out and got myself two glasses of wine :-/ and some cream to coffee. I really tried to keep it off, but I go out so rarely (I actually can't remember the last time) that I thought i should allow it to myself. Other than that I am pretty good, eating delicious cooked beef with tomatoes (my favorite, cooking a batch right now), eggs, beef franks, kale, some other veggies... I also ate one orange and some strawberries (on sale! really cheap!), which I hope isn't too much of a "cheat". I kept on working out, and yesterday we had a field trip to DC so we walked miles and miles over the course of the day. We had meals prepared for us, but I took my own lunch. I am very proud of it :) Everyone had pasta, I had about a pound of ground beef in delicious tomato souse. I just bought a food thermos and it works great! Kept food hot from 7am to 1pm. I will be using it more often, to have proper paleo lunches for work.

I thought that maybe I should just cut off two days from the counting, but I think it will be more honest to start counting from zero. So, today is day one, the second time. I hope there won't be any need for third first day :)